Top 10: People You’ll Meet At The Gym
Gyms have a social culture unlike anywhere else. But as interesting as they are, they’re not unique. They attract the same people no matter where you are.
Don’t be fooled into thinking the people you’re working out with just like having big muscles and hot bodies. Underneath all of the training are a complex set of personality traits and some ritualistic OCD type gym behavior. Here’s my list of the Top 10 People You’ll Meet At The Gym… See if you recognize then from your gym, or even in the mirror! Ha!
1. The Fashion Designer – I’ve seen this behavior in many muscle guys, but on occasion women also exhibit some scissor savvy, shredding their clothes in certain spots for a particular look – and to show off their bulging muscles! Over the years I’ve seen guys cut their shirts and lace them up with shoe strings, or tie them back together with knots. And how many men shred the sleeves of their shirts? It seems some people put more effort into preparing what they wear to the gym than what they do once inside.
2. Ms. Mystique – She comes to the gym, covered up head to toe in baggy sweats, wearing a baseball cap and hood, and wearing all size headophones to cover the sides of her head. her hat brim is worn so low that you can’t see her eyes either. She’s usually on the treadmill, speed walking, holding on with the incline way up and the poof….just like that she’s gone.
3. The Scissor – I know you’ve heard me use this term before. It’s a name for guys with huge upper bodies that slack off on their leg training and hence end up looking like a pair of scissors! This is a common male condition with many men not willing to put the effort into serious leg workouts, thinking that 4 sets of leg extensions are sufficient. More often than not, this guy is a combo of #1 with baggy sweatpants and workbooks or boxing high tops.
4. The Unveiler – I’ll admit, I’ve been guilty of this behavior in my early days. The Unveiler is a person who wears long sleeves, or a sweatshirt, and is completely covered up for the first half of their workout. Then when they’re all ‘pumped’ up after lifting for a while, they unveil and reveal a skimpy tank top to expose their bulging, veiny muscles for all to see. It’s kind of like… surprise, look what I have under this clothing! This is A typical of fitness and bodybuilder competitors.
5. The Disillusioned – Do you know how many times guys have asked me for a spot while lifting weights far beyond their abilities? Too many to count, that’s for sure. And no, they weren’t performing negative only training. I actually told one guy “no” last time he asked because it was more of a workout for me to spot him than for him workout! Lift the weight, not your ego people!
6. The Cardio Queen – She’s a gym classic; hands facing backwards, arms extended with elbows locked, butt sticking out, taking steps two at a time or sideways on the Stepmill for what seems like an eternity. After she’s done, she hits the gluteblaster for 5 high rep sets, grabs her smoothie and off she goes?
7. The Sheet – In addition to being a ‘Scissor’, a lot of guys are also what I call “sheets”. Meaning they look wide when viewed from the front, but when turned sideways they virtually disappear; their body has no depth. This is a clear case of mirror bodybuilding. A lot of guys only train the muscles they can see, so their chest, shoulders, and arms get great workouts. But the back, upper back, rear shoulder and everything else they can’t see get’s neglected.
8. The Drag Queen & King – Some women come to the gym with full hair and makeup as if it’s a night out on the town. I’ve also seen men put cologne on before their workouts, which just reinforces my view that a lot of fitness facilities are like bars and clubs, just with exercise equipment added in! I’m not saying you shouldn’t care about your appearance, or put thought into it, but come on, really?
9. The Tester – This is the guy that walks towards you, directly in your path and doesn’t move out of your way. It’s like playing a human gamer of walking chicken. They’re gym bullies, if you let them get away with it once you’re doomed. These guys usually have a bad case of ILS (invisible lat syndrome) as well.
10. The Talker – This is the really nice person that everyone likes and gets along with, but when you say hello your workout is over! They just talk and talk and talk, and then talk some more. You may get a set in a here and there, but your whole routine will be interrupted. I’ve actually had to change gyms specifically for this reason, as I couldn’t get a workout in without being approached for conversation. They’re good people, they just talk too much!
Sound familiar? What do you think? What are the other gym ‘types’ you commonly come across… start commenting everyone…
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This is hilarious. And spot on! What about the grunters? They feel like the more noise they make, the better they worked out?
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